Advice and myths that keep you from sleeping well

This week I have seen a lot of sleep advice and tips online that quite frankly concern me and are not helpful for people who have been struggling with sleep issues for a while and are desperate for a solution.

I see posts like "I get 2 or 3 hours of sleep and it's destroying me, I've tried everything and I'm at my wit's end" on Facebook, Reddit and similar platforms and it really breaks my heart.

But when I see the comments, I get even more concerned.

"Take magnesium, turmeric , chamomile (insert supplement of your choice here), sleep medication x is the best and has cured my insomnia…"

It's no wonder that so many people struggle with sleep and are unable to find a solution that works for them.

We are bombarded with sleep advice, hacks and tips everyday.

Some of them are helpful and have shown to improve sleep quality or help people fall asleep more easily but the biggest issue is that none of them address the underlying reasons as to why you can't sleep.

And if they work, it's often only a temporary fix. You are treating the symptoms and not the cause.

Sleep is complex and seems elusive at times but at the same time sleep can be very simple.

It's not rocket science to figure out how you can sleep better if you know where to start.

First, you need to look at what's keeping you from sleeping.

Ask yourself:

What happens when you wake up in the night and can't go back to sleep?

What do you think about? How do you feel? Do you get anxious and start worrying up about the next day?

How do you generally think about your sleep? Do you think of yourself as a "bad sleeper'?

What are your daytime and evening habits that could be leading to poor sleep?

What time do you get up in the morning? What time do you go to bed? Do you follow a regular schedule?

Do you get enough sunlight during the day? Do you exercise and what does your diet look like?

From there, you can start making connections and understand yourself better to take small steps in improving your sleep.

But you also need to understand what induces quality sleep and how sleep really works so you can develop healthier and more sustainable habits without relying on supplements or random hacks.

So let me break down a few myths and unhelpful beliefs about sleep and uncover the truth:

Myth: You need 8 hours of sleep every night.

Truth: The quality of your sleep is much more important than the quantity.

You can sleep for 8 hours every night and still feel unrefreshed and sleepy during the day if your sleep quality is low. What makes up quality sleep? Generally it's the ratio of deep sleep, light sleep and REM sleep and we want to aim for around 20% of deep sleep, 20-25% of REM sleep and about 50% of light sleep.

Sleep trackers can be helpful to see trends in our sleep phases but take them with a pinch of salt because they're not 100% accurate.

So even if you only got 6 or 7 hours of sleep, it's more important to look at how you feel the next day and whether you personally feel that your sleep was restorative.

Do not obsess about numbers.

Myth: One night of bad sleep will impact your health negatively.

Truth: Our bodies are very resilient and are built to recover from stress, injuries and illnesses.

You'll notice that often after a bad night of sleep, you'll find it much easier to fall asleep the following day and your body will make up for the lost quality of sleep by increasing specific sleep phases that you missed out on.

Having bad night is completely normal and part of life.

So don't worry about it!

Myth: You can catch up on sleep by napping or just sleeping longer on the weekends.

Truth:

This is a trap. Yes, our bodies can and will recover from lost sleep but by sleeping longer or napping later in the day, you are messing up your natural rhythm and you are making it much harder to get to sleep the following night.

So if you sleep in on the weekends, you won't be able to fall asleep Sunday night and you'll start your week with a bad night's sleep.

Try and stick to a regular wake up time as much as you can.

But don't force yourself into a rigid routine.

Try and be consistent but also give yourself a bit of flexibility. I would recommend staying within an hour of your usual wake up time.

Myth: You should go to bed earlier than usual if you have to get up early the next day

Truth: You cannot force your body to go to sleep earlier unless it is ready.

How do you get your body and mind ready for sleep?

There are 2 mechanisms controlling our sleep:

Sleep pressure: When we are awake, we build up sleep pressure and when we sleep, it decreases. As sleep pressure builds up, we feel more and more sleepy.
Circadian rhythm: Our internal body clock that regulates when we feel awake and when we feel tired (plus many other bodily functions). It runs on a 24 hour cycle.

Both mechanisms need to be in harmony in order to induce sleep naturally.

So if you try to go to bed early but you haven't build up enough sleep pressure, you will most likely not fall asleep quickly and lie awake causing you to feel anxious and therefore keeping you from falling sleeping well.

In addition to low sleep pressure, your circadian rhythm and internal body clock is telling you that it's not quite time to feel sleepy yet so by going against both of these mechanisms, you are making it a lot harder for yourself.

This is also why we sometimes feel wide awake at night even though we are sleep deprived. Our sleep pressure might be high but our circadian rhythm is out of sync.

Instead, try and build up sleep pressure for a few days by waking up a bit earlier and adjust your wake up times slowly if you can. To adjust your circadian rhythm, get plenty of sunlight as soon as you wake up and avoid bright lights in the evening.

If it is one-off situation, don't worry and go to bed at your normal time even if it means losing out on a few hours of sleep by having to get up early.

Simply go to bed around the same time again the next day and your body will recover naturally.

Myth: Waking up at night is bad

Truth:

It's completely normal to wake up multiple times per night. Most people who think they sleep through the night will wake up for short amounts of time and then go back to sleep without remembering those moments.

So if you wake up at night, do not worry. It's a normal part of your sleep.

This is because our body goes through different sleep cycles and between those cycles our sleep is very light so any disturbance or change in temperature can wake us up.

So if you wake up at 2 or 3am, just think to yourself: this is normal, I will go back to sleep soon. There is nothing to worry about.

It takes time to reframe this belief because you will have experienced many sleepless nights previously. But the truth is that the more we worry, the harder it gets to fall asleep.

By accepting that we wake up at night as a normal part of our sleep routine, we can become more confident in our ability to go back to sleep.

You'll see that none of my tips include taking random supplements or using weird hacks and that is because they are not the real solution to your problems.

Start with the basics and question your own beliefs and thoughts about your sleep.

Introduce habits and routines that promote healthy sleep slowly and don't worry about getting a perfect night.

We cannot control or force sleep. We can only provide an optimal environment for quality sleep and our body will do the rest.

Sleep well,

Anne - The Sleep Nerd 🌟😴🛌