Stop thinking - start sleeping

What if I told you that being able to sleep well at night sleep consistently has nothing to do with your "sleep hygiene" and cutting out caffeine, alcohol or screens?

Sure, all of these things can influence the quality of your sleep and should be factored in when looking at how you can optimize your own sleep.

However, if you have had sleep issues or insomnia for a long time, these tips will not lead anywhere and in fact can make things worse!

Think about it:

You are adding in all of these rules and restrictions, following the perfect bedtime routine but when you close your eyes, you still can't get to sleep....

You now feel like a failure because you did everything they told you to and you're still lying there.

You get frustrated.

You toss and turn

You think to yourself "Why can't I just be normal and go to sleep ?"

It's exactly these thoughts that are keeping you from sleeping!!!

You are creating a vicious cycle of negative and dysfunctional beliefs around your ability to sleep because of your own past experiences.

You must question your own beliefs and thoughts if you want to improve your sleep.

Ask yourself if you agree with any of the below statements:

• I need 8 hours of sleep to function well and feel refreshed

• If I don't sleep well, I will have a bad day.

• I'm worried I've lost the ability to sleep forever

• I guess I'm just a bad sleeper and there is nothing I can do

• My inability to sleep is ruining my ability to enjoy life

Have you ever wondered why some people can just go to sleep anywhere and anytime they want?

They all have one thing in common:

• They don't think about sleep

Sleep comes naturally to them because they don't give it any thought.

They go to bed when they're tired and they know instinctly that sleep will come eventually.

It sounds strange coming from someone who is obsessed with the topic but thinking and worrying about your sleep is what's keeping you from sleeping well in the first place.

So what can you do?

The first step is awareness. Be aware of your own negative or dysfunctional beliefs around sleep.

Let's break down and bust a few of these common beliefs:

• You need to achieve a perfect 8 hours of sleep every night.

It's more important to focus on the quality of your sleep and a consistent routine than an arbitrary number. Our body is very clever and will recover the right amount of deep and REM sleep if you've had a bad night or a bad spell of sleep.

So trust yourself and don't worry about being perfect every single night. No one is.

• If I don't sleep well, I will not be able to function the next day.

Le'ts say you have a big presentation coming up or an important meeting. You will probably not sleep well the night before and that's completely normal!

Don't worry about it. Sure, you might be a bit tired as you get up and get ready for your day but your body is capable of adapting and will give you the right amount of adrenaline and energy to push through this daunting task.

You will likely sleep better and deeper the following night as your body will try and recover the lost sleep from the previous night. So go and enjoy your day no matter how well you slept!

• I'm just a bad sleeper and there is nothing I can do

Many people who have struggled with insomnia or phases in their life of bad sleep will start to think that they are simply destined to be a bad sleeper.

They will tell themselves that they are just someone who doesn't need much sleep and will accept their fate.

And they couldn't be more wrong!

Sleep is a natural part of our life and it shouldn't be something that you are either good or bad at.

Think about how animals sleep. They don't think about "sleep hygiene" or use "hacks" to fall asleep. They simple lie down when they get tired and sleep will come. The might get woken up by a noise but they don't worry about how this disruption is going to affect them, they simply get on with it.

So when you go to bed tonight, think to yourself:

• I can't control my sleep and that's fine

• How much I sleep won't affect my ability to enjoy life

• If I don't sleep well tonight, so be it.

• Sleep will come eventually and naturally

I know that this is not easy.

Many of you may have had problems sleeping for many years and those negative thoughts are hard to shake.

But being aware of them and trying to overcome them should be your first priority before changing any of your other habits or routines.

I myself am still working on the "I need 8 hours of sleep to function" belief as I can be a bit of a perfectionist and love looking at my own sleep stats through various tracking devices and apps (that's a topic for another newsletter!).

Let me know in the comments a negative belief that you have identified and want to overcome!

Next week, we'll talk a bit more about habits and routines and why it's so difficult to stick with them for many of us (especially those of you who might be neurodivergent).

Until then,

Sleep well 🛌🌟😴

Anne - The Sleep Nerd